For you gentlemen who think that courting a woman is good advice, I say, read carefully.
There are a few rules and laws to human nature that are important to understand. Complying to them will result in great success with the opposite sex. Our objective is to avoid sexually transmitted diseases at all costs. The price to pay is a lifetime of deceit and possible jail time.
Here are 8 laws that will help you win the heart of that special lady in your life:
8. Chivalry is a thing of the past - Woman of 2009 are prone to an independent lifestyle. Embrace it. They want to pay for meals. They want to pay for movies. More importantly, they want to pay your child support. Let them be.
Opening doors is optional. To keep it safe, I would stick to the blue handicap button.
7. Keep your gas to yourself - Farting out loud in front of guys is one thing, but farting in a woman's presence is suicide. Why?
As we all know, women do not fart. Mothers fart. grandmothers definitly fart, and nuns fart. All other women do not produce gas. Nor do they burp, crack their knuckles, or yawn - these are symptoms of the all so vulnerable and flawed man. We can not afford the chance to be seen as imperfect.
6. Texting is flirting too - For those of you guys that want to skip foreplay, here is your chance. Why suffer the drag of personal contact when communication is merely a few thumb presses away. Women like to think about their next thoughts - why rush when our conversations can be robotic and endlessly confined to 140 characters.
Unfortunately females produce an irritating high frequency pitch, unnerving to the average male. Texting allows intonation and delivery to be securely in exhibited.
5. Women Strive for Security - If you do fail to work-out significantly, you will less likely win over a woman. She is solely attracted to your body. Physically, you must be chiseled. I would suggest an Abercrombie catalog as a credible source for material.
Financially, women are stable. They seek independence and succeed in amassing large sums of money easily. They can manage this task without prostitution or stripping, either. To be a counterpart you are only a sex slave.
4. Women Are Nurturers Too - Since Arnold Schwarzenegger became pregnant in 1994, women have played a less dominant role in raising children. Like a male seahorse, you do not need a uterus to be a mother. Women today are looking for a man that is in touch with his homosexual side yet can be the hunter gatherer type as well.
The role may be difficult to play, but you can start by shopping at Banana Republic.
3. The Homeless Look ( Derelict ) - Women are attracted to men who just do not care about their appearance. If you look like you're not trying, you are golden. Keep in mind, you must still have toned abs and muscular arms. Coincidentally, your closet is now filled with scarves and sweaters from Banana Republic.
Balance your flamboyancy - Keep unkempt. Wear dirty shoes. Spray on some Curve. Moisturize with more Curve products.
2. Buy Apple - You are not a man to a woman if you do not have apple products. Brand recognition is everything to women. You must at least have an ipod shuffle - which tells women you are compensating for something. Though PC can stand by as the larger owner of market share, they have smaller penises.
1. Size Matters - See 7 + 4 = length and girth of your penis. Not only is your member a tool, but the definition of your manliness. Having a small penis means you are less likely to have strong goals and ambitions. If your penis is large, you are probably President Barack Obama. For those not confident, compensate buy purchasing the following:
- Blackberry
- Exotic Pets
- Studio Lighting
Water, Water, Water
3 months ago
